Pause & Breathe: A Journey of Identity and Technology with Roman Bermans
Author
Kayla Bonfiglio
Date Published
Born into Soviet-era Riga, Latvia to a Russian mother and a half-Russian, half-Ukrainian father, Roman’s early life was influenced by constant movement of location and culture. He moved to Poland at the age of seven, where he would grow up for the next 15 years of his life. These formative years were marked by confusing and shifting identities, and an awareness of being an outsider. These rooted experiences shaped Roman’s foundation for a thoughtful, humble, and introspective approach to life.
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As a technology leader and innovator with over 20 years of experience in software engineering, he has a proven record of delivering successful software products across a variety of industries. In this interview, Roman explores his roots and the ways his upbringing influenced his values, how he’s raising his daughter with intention and presence, and why he strongly believes that in a consumptive world, one of the most radical things we can do is pause and breathe. We talk about resisting social norms, parenting without a smartphone, and creating space for authenticity in a world that rewards conformity.
1. “What do you hope to pass on to your daughter?”
"I want her to be herself, which I think is what comes from my background. People didn't allow me to be myself… not allowing me to have the surname I wanted or not allowing me to be me… So what I'm trying to bring to her is: embrace being yourself. You don't need to act a social role. You don't need to act a role that is expected from you. Just be yourself, and being beautiful. It's very hard. It's very hard because it's very alienating as well... But this is what I want to give to her — being yourself, not needing to follow the crowd, and showing her unconditional love."
2. “What does being a parent in 2025 feel like to you?”
"It’s very hard for me to be a parent in 2025, especially in the city, because I totally go against the trend. Most kids at 10 definitely have a smartphone. In Spain, I was told 90% of 12-year-olds have one. It’s mind-blowing... But as a parent, it's hard to be the one whose kid doesn't have a smartphone. The issue is, because I’m not like other parents, they feel uncomfortable. My choices question their logic, and they attack me... It’s the same concept with processed foods, fast foods. People are too tired or too busy at work... and my question is, why do you work so much? Maybe you spend too much, or you're buying things you cannot afford. Just tone it down... For me, the main issue I see living in Barcelona for two years is that people spend too much money. So, being a parent today means resisting — resisting this pressure to conform."
3. “What’s the most important message you wish to leave with the world?”
"Pause and breathe. Pause, take a moment to stop and breathe and see what's going to happen... Maybe you don’t need to work so hard. Maybe you don’t need so many things... You don’t need to do like everybody else. Try to do what you want to do — which is very hard. It cost me a lot of alienation and always being an outsider...
And you know, one last thing I started doing that’s so powerful: before answering any question, take a breath. A real breath. Even a few breaths. And you will answer differently. That pause changed my life. Just breathe before you say yes. Breathe before you react. That’s my message — pause and breathe."
